“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
The year is 1992, and I am in the car headed to school, listening to the radio. Mary J. Blige’s “Real Love” comes on, and I sing my little elementary school heart out as if I could relate to what Mary was talking about. I could not. Thirty-two years later, it seems Mary still hasn’t found that real love she sang about.
What is real love?
Despite the countless songs, movies, books, and TV shows about love, the current divorce rate in the United States, which hovers around 42%, suggests we aren’t getting any better at it.
What is real love?
Recently, my father was hospitalized and had to undergo surgery. While visiting home, I watched my mother faithfully tend to him. She only leaves his side when my sister or I are with him. Now that he is home from the hospital, she continues to work tirelessly caring for him. Years earlier, after my mom had surgery, he did the same for her. This past June, they celebrated 54 years of marriage, having known each other since elementary school. This is real love.
Real love is the way my grandfather cared for my grandmother while she battled cancer. Even after she passed away, he gave instructions on how she should be dressed at her funeral.
Real love is the way my uncle cares for my aunt, who is currently battling cancer. I watch him sort her pills and ensure she stays on schedule with her medications. He makes sure she eats right and rests as necessary.
Real love is the spouses of our wounded warriors who faithfully stand by their partners, even when they may not physically be who or what they used to be when they met.
This is real love. It’s not “that Jada and that Will love.” It isn’t lust confused for love. It’s not sunshine and roses every day.
Real love is “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.” Real love is loyal.
Looks and limbs may fade. But real love never fails.